Sitting there in the dark,

I remembered that night you skinned Grandpa.

The moon was full,

The sky was as dark as a tar pit.

You called me up and said:

"I hate my Grandpa so fuckin' much,

He's always farting and using my tooth brush

To clean his false teeth. I wish he would die,

Or better yet still, someone should skin the fucker!

He doesn't rock my socks!"

I didn't quite know what to say.

I was so shocked at this sudden out pour of hatred

Being thrown in your Grandpas direction.

So I said:

"Indeed! Skin him you must!"

You insisted I come over immediately,

To bear witness to this act.

I shouldn't have, but I did.

When I arrived on your doorstep,

Your Grandpa answered the door.

His toothless smile, starring longingly at me,

I knew at that moment I'd regret

What I said.

I even regret befriending you.

You violently shoved him out of the way

To make way for me to step inside.

I took off my shoes, you said "hi".

We then proceeded to eat some crackers.

I also remember we ate crackers hours on end,

We liked that a lot.

Afterwards, you snuck up behind ole' Granps.

You scared him.

Considering he can't speak, he made this sound.

"Gwammmmmp", went Grandpa.

You had a spare piece of duct tape,

Hanging on the wall,

You improvised and used it to silence him.

Soon thereafter,

You got your skinning knife, and

Sliced away at Granpa's skin.

He kept squirming, which made matters difficult.

You got a pair of handcuffs that you had on the floor.

You handcuffed him to a chair.

You said "it's ok Grandpa, it's just a precaution,

We don't want you falling off the world".

That made me giggle.

He did his best to shut up.

He was rather great about it all.

Then like magic, Voila!

You now had your very own skinned Grandpa.

You were so proud.

I was in tears.

I hated you.

I hate you.

Why did you skin your Grandpa?

You should have sent him to the doctor.

You don't skin someone because they have a farting problem.

You don't skin someone because they are too goddamn senile

To even know which tooth brush is theirs.

Fuck you, I hope your Grandma skins you.

By : Emilie