because you're a good little consumer, katelin.

anyway, i finally put my better(ish) A16 pictures pasted into a scrapbook. i am not one of those hoarders who loves making scrapbooks as a hobby (or am i??), i just thought they deserved a place of honor. it's funny, looking back at them....it would be easy to think that the pictures were protestor-centric, well they are obviously, but they COULD be from anywhere. well, the New Left: bold, fun, and stupid. right? becuase it looks great, and my descriptions are serious, or joking and proud, and i knew why i was there, why WE were there. but once i got there, we didn't know WHAT the fuck was going on or what we were doing. well, that was partly to do with the entire organizational center being crashed and busted up by the copzzz.

anyway, i haven't contributed to the liberation of teh plaetary inhabitants from oppression or repression or pression at all since my last entry. i haven'e even made a concerted effort to recycle. oh well, i haven't showered, so i saved some water, right?

i'm disgusting. actually i officially jumped into the hating my body cycle of personal psychology. AWESOME DUDE!!! i can't stand being encased in this body it's driving me insane. i want to take scissors and clip it off and crawl out. i'm not going to kill myself or anything, i'm not giving away my jewelry and journals full of shitty suicide poetry. i just want a new body that doesn't hurt all the time and make me paranoid about being in public and around my father. i think i just need to dance again, that was my connection to my bod. i've been MISSIN it hardcore this summer. yoga is great and i want to continue doing it, but i don't feel the same way, like i'm creating beauty with every ragged sweaty breath and making vibrations shoot thru the dirt, flying and landing, etc. right now i just feel like i'm in a sinking ship or something. it's funny how i cant' explain it to anyone else effectively. maybe because i don't really care to. it's embarrassing. man, i sure i glad i have YOU, diary (repulsive giggle). i detest compromising my dignity. i dont' want to go through another doctor type thing, it's so humiliating. but i do need some help before i puke my guts inside out.

i went, with summer and jons mom and sister and courtney and travis and david to the legacy guest event. i was thoroughly creeped out. i think i need to get some major things fixed before i do something like that. actually, maybe not. either way, i can't tell if i like what has happened to jon or not. he hugs a LOT more now. candice is the same, just a little more boisterous. it must be nice to want all your friends to do it if your mom paid for the whole thing. mine won't. she thinks it's ridiculous to pay thousands of dollars to learn what you can learn on the street.

more on this later. for now:

arrested development sed:

you just a shell until you decide to rebel

whether you're white or black your soul does not dwell

inside your shell until you decide to rebel

worldly worldly people allow your innersides

to intervene and circulate

open your eyes and open your ears

wouldn't it be great

ok, it's good night and more later. people get antsy, you know