So, I don't know where to start. I got an amazing letter from Summer, the kind where you just want to write back the second after you read it and do nothing else except maybe dance and sing. It was full of SO MUCH STUFF.

I went to the School of the Americas protest for the fourth time in my life. I was all "I know what is going to happen" and I totally didn't, and it totally blew my mind. Peace i think, is possible. I rode on a bus with like 40 other people from the Western NC Peace Coalition. Zayt was there. Ian was there, and I didn't even know he was going, we work together, and i walked onto the bus at like 5:45AM all teh way to the back and he was just sitting right there and we were like, "ummm....holy shit. wow." There were amazing old womyn, Clare Hanrahan was there for the first time since her imprisonment, cause she couldn't go last year, cause she was in jail for the beautiful thing she did the year before. There were bold, gorgeous, loving, amazing high school kids on the bus. Thirteen year olds who were so wise and showed me that resistance can be fun, and made me think "jeezus, when did i GROW UP so much that i have a stick up my ass and can't have fun???" The culture of peace IS fun, it involves giant puppets and sing and crying and dancing and yelling. The organizer was this ass-bootin' old man named Jim who had a waist-length gray beard sculpted into two long enormous dreads. wow. We sang on the bus, and Sunday was unbelieveable. THe connections and commonalities we have became apparent, and this bus of people were willing to share their sorrow and outrage at violence directed straight from our fucking USA overconsumption to horror in the name of our democratic ideals a little ways down south. The UNCA kids who went were mostly quiet, the ringleader was the woman who leads the Amnesty Intl chapter which i have the best class ever during this semester....and I admired her sharpness, intelligence, confidence, self-assuredness, and how she responded differently than I to the day's events. On the way home, EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the bus went up and talked at length about how they felt over a microphone at the front. Every single voice was heard on that bus because everyone had something to say and something to hear. It was so beautiful, I cried when I got to the front and i am NOT a crier. Anyway, other kickass things have happened, too.

Such as: JAMES' SORRY ASS FINALLY MOVED OUT!!!! WHOO-HHOOOO!!! WHOO-HOOOOO!!! NO MORE SQUATTERS GEEZUS GAWD THANK YOU NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE INTIMIDATED BY A MAN LIVING ON MY FUCKING COUCH. NO MORE JAMES!!! HUZZAH!!! NO MORE CIGARETTES SMOKED IN MY HOUSE! NO MORE STUPID OVERMASCULATED MOVIES SUCH AS "MEN OF HONOR" OR "CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER"! NO MORE WAKING UP TO THE SOUNDS OF COKED-OUT DRUNKEN SEX ON THE LIVING ROOM SOFA! NO MORE MEAT IN MY HOUSE! NO MORE RANCH DRESSING IN MY HOUSE! NO MORE BOY CLOTHES SCATTERED ACROSS THE FLOOR! NO MORE BOXER-CLAD SNORING UNTIL 3PM IN OUR LIVING ROOM!

god i want to live alone someday if i can ever afford it.

So what else?! Medicine wheel class, is kicking my ass in such a good way. I have been realizing through this short time so much about my life and the patterns i am creating, the limitations i set, what i dream about doing, what i am afraid of, good at, bad at, etc. It is mostly helping me with relationships, or rather i have been recignizing ones that do me no good in my life. I talked with kellie about this somewhat over some unmentionable late night fast food that i just realized this second has questionable human rights labor practices, geez what am i donig putting that crap into my body anyway. that crap doesn't belong in my royal wild horse-princess glitterflyer body. I want to talk more about this relationship thing, but i think it needs a whole 'nuther entry. That Brian can't read because i will lock it. ha ha.

So what else, I have been working out with Ali. I miss dance so much this semester but than again it's my own fault for going so seldom and not finishing my work before dance time. But it feels so good to walk, run, hike, etc. Breathing deeply is good. Breathing cold air deeply is like a dream where everything tastes like light peppermint. I love the way it makes the back of my teeth feel.

I saw an AWESOME movie, bowling for columbine, on saturday with julie, mary, killa milla and others. we ate rosetta's kitchen and it kicked ass, then we saw this movie. i wanted to cry so many times. it's about gun control but really about the united states i guess. what the hell is wrong with us? i do not know, and neither does this guy who made this movie, or rather, he knows a little about what's right with us because we can laugh,and he studies what is wrong with us. OK, so maybe i am behind the times but i have never seen any movies by michael moore before, but i really really really like this guy! WOW is he persistent! confident, quietly powerful, etc.

Yesterday while working with teh kids, one of the most powerful experiences of ma' life occurred (and i was part of it!). that parenthetical part made the sentence funny. to me. shut up. So, I was working with the kids and Joy yesterday. three of em, two fifteen year olds and a thirteen year old. awesome kids. And instead of doing math, science, writing we get into this big huge argument/discussion after Joy asserts that math is everything and is in everything which like blows their minds and they don't know how to believe it even though it is so true....and we talk about equality in discussion, and how to listen, and what they want to do....we had wanted them to develop self-directed projects they were interested in incorporating many subjects...and they start talking about how adults don't respect or listen to them, how no one understands them, how kids have no power, how they are so angry, and just with people, me and joy, listening to them, one boy who is under court order to go there to math n art and is on probation and stuff, he just started to cry, this beautiful boy person. he cried for some reason probably that i don't know because i am just starting to feel how truly angry he is underneath everything exterior-wise. Anyway, i have to write more about all this cause i ain't done yet....but these kids basically just started their own version of YVR and are finding their voices and it's so beautiful and i am so provileged to watch and help, etc. and i dream manju dreams and the world is cinnamon swirl.....

and then i watched this maharaji video and it was so awesome and then i watched another one, and something wonderful is happening to me, and i am being fed where i was starving myself with fear, and Joy made me a salad, and i sang alone under the sun, and this all happened yesterday and it feels so good and i am so glad to be alive.

good gawd, good lawd, good gracious sakes alive.

i am not joining a cult, i swear. i want to show everyone i love so they can hear his words too (maybe to assure me i'm not crazy). but i am not in a cult. i am a happy girl who loves the world.