i am back in a-town. i have: gone to class, made music, thrown a kegger, WALKED more than i did all summer in one week, gotten shaken up, cried like a baby followed by a symphonic four-mile walk-dance to a nina simone soundtrack that only i could hear in the 2AM streetlight shadows, walked through the experimental forest, drank ZIMA and watched the curse of the queerwolf, indulged my cat, sighed and warmed inside as chills went down my arms from my professor's kind sharp brilliance, photographed turtles, picked blueberries, worn a slip that was my very own and that i am investing a lot of weird femininity into, purloining free cowboy boots, going to fetish night and laughing and slam-dancing to bad goth-pop, having twice a week mega workout days, beginning my dancing tornado, eating a LOT, but a lot of vegetables, deeping my connections with killa milla and j.ru, being weirded out by the strange picture of my parents my mother gave me right before i left for school, moving my sis into her new dorm and new life, laxing my perfectionism, watching and feeling my family change. most importantly, though....adapting my life to who i really am, figuring out who that is...it's so simple....all i had to do was think for once what i really wanted....and instantly i knew what i DIDN'T want, and that was what i was doing. so now i'm not yet doing something ELSE....it's like my autopilot finally got a break and i am getting to take over even though i'm not sure how to drive this thing. it's fun, though. that didn't sound as cool as it really is...cause it's REALLY COOL
