"self-confident, self-esteem"

You have a feeling and sense of self-worth. You
gain fame for demonstration of your abilities
in two very different areas. You are gifted
when it comes to intuition, perception, and
precognition. THe head of the figure on the
card looks to the inner star for guidance and
support-- you tend to be fairly introspective.

which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short, with pictures and detailed results
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yep. yesterday i posted several donzen vagina monologues flyers around town. i wore a too-tight hat, and it was balmy. 24 hours later i walked up the same street, slipping on the sleety sidewalk and gasping at the wind and ice pellets, and some of the flyers are no longer in the window. hmmm. nothing to chill your heart like a miserably cold day and the flyers you slutted around town to be taken down from that cute little overpriced woman-owned café window.

this morning i awoke to a phone call from mr. matt, who was standing outside my house after allegedly coming to town for a "concert", staying out too late, trying to drive up to the parkway which was "closed", and then driving up to my house and "sleeping in the car" until morning. what a weirdo. what do you do with people like that, who have no sense but to drive all the way to your friendly house, then not knock on your door and sleep somewhere warm and welcoming, but elect to sleep in their cars parked on the street outside...again, what else do you do with people like that but take them out for some breakfast. or brunch, i should say. i just hate the concept of brunch. first of all, the word is just icky. second of all, it's like the lazy man's breakfast. get the hell up already! why not just call it "lazy fucker/old lady postchurch nosh"? all the hungover sons of bitches will be grumbling and skulking elsewhere, while brunch has this falsely wholesome title with an obvious sinister ring to it.

NO CLASSES TOMORROW, BOO-YA DR. HAAS!!!! THANKS GREENHOUSE EFFECT AND WEIRD UNANNOUNCED STORMS! i can postpone my soc research decision yet again. both ideas are SO self-indulgent; i wonder which will win? the shameless behavioral secret agent research method or the self-serving anglo jealousy method?

anyway.

post-flyering, errands. friday night saw ocne upon a time in mexico. that movie, i am going to go ahead and admit that i liked it even though i wont' pretend to understand it. the politics were interesting in that there is probably no way a coup d'etat would ever happen in mexico, right, but that i am sure was part of the whole scheme there, or storytelling and oh lord i'm quitting before i get too into it. i get so nervous because it seems like such a conversation that can go on forever with no resolution, since people who usually like to talk about movies are insatiable.

anyway, AFTER that xtina and i had ourselves a nice talk about the stuff that's going on in our lives, and hopefully exchanged some healing energy. god, it's phrases like that that make me NEED to get out of ashevegas SOON.

fast forward to sat. kimmo came over, as did daniel w, the beautiful man who appears intermittently in my life all of his own accord, since i always never call him and lose his number. anyway, he's great. we were to go to goth night, but first had to get our hot bodies to the hot toddy party. it was hot. daniel arrived at my house in black lipstick and matching dark accessories. i followed suit, then we met some really nice young professional people at this party, all dressed in ties and trousers. it was a fun and silly feeling, to be hobnobbing and sipping on hot buttered rum and building campfies in fishnet stockings and drapey lace garments. we had a good time competing for the sulk prize. i think he was more sullen but i was a more shamelessly expressive dancer. i love how goths dance with cigarettes in their hands. anyway he's great but i was afraid to touch him because, well, i am shy. but then we ran into danny m, who thrust upon me his special blend of creepy body language and disregard for others' personal space as usual and did the too-long hug tall guy waist-lock, you know the kind where they don't let go even though you're practically bending over backwards to escape and their face hovers ever closer and you wonder why they'd do that? don't people see the fear in your eyes with that? why do they persist? perhaps i was just spooked by his words last weekend, and that now there has been a new light shed on why he slinks around upstairs, always watching me dancing with girls EVERY time i happen to look. ick. now i know why.

but the good boys, i just don't know what to do with them. god i'm so shy with boys all the time. why am i so shy?

the end of a mundane journal entry fo sure. i ran into my student at the grocery store to day. he seemed to be embarrassed. ha ha!